All In A Day - Spending time with your husband

It's Wednesday again and this is part of the series All In A Day.

For a family with many children, it can be a challenge for the parents to get together for any alone time. Just trying to carry on a conversation without being interrupted can be difficult.*

As a homeschooling family, we have the luxury of starting our day when it is most convenient for us. My children sleep late which means my husband and I have time in the morning to catch up on any matters that need discussing. He doesn't leave for work until after we've had breakfast and family devotions which might be around 10:30 am.

Years ago, our children had an 8:00 bedtime and that provided us time to wind down, and talk about the events of the day. You have to do what works for your family.

If it's a night out you want, let's face it, babysitters might not be up for the task of caring for a lot of little ones. We have always lived in the same city as our families, so grandparents were available. However, we didn't want to call on them too much so we did hire babysitters a fair amount of the time. We had various people we could call on, some older single women, some college students and some high school students.

If finances are tight, you could spend the money on a sitter and just go out for coffee or dessert. I used to be able to stay up pretty late, but the older I get, the harder that is. Waiting until the children go to sleep and then having a sitter come over might be an idea to try if you have many little ones.

Or, you might try to eat your dinner outside on the back porch, while your children play just inside the house. You can still see them, but they cannot hear your conversation.

I had a friend who once organized a babysitting co-op in her town. She sent me the guidelines and "how-tos" but I never got one going. It seems like a good idea though. There are a lot of resources on the internet to help you with that if you have a good base of families you trust. It operates on using points, so you don't need to have the same number of children as everyone else.

Often, couples who develop separate hobbies or interests will set themselves up for disaster. If you are choosing to spend significant time away from each other in the company of friends, opportunities can arise for the enemy to come in. I'm not saying that it's wrong for a mom to go to an occasional "Mom's Night Out" but be careful that the other moms are edifying and encouraging your relationship with God and with your husband. Don't let it become a time of comparing or tearing down your husband.

If you can find something that the two of you enjoy doing together, invest in that and you will see your relationship grow.

We were fortunate to be able to go on a second honeymoon when we had three children.

We had a rotating schedule of three different people stay with them over a period of a week. One was my mom, one was a very close friend, and the third was a college student. I didn't want to wear any one person out. Getting away and making memories like that is worth the cost (I only had to pay the college student).

As our children starting getting older, we had them take a Safe Sitter course so they would have the knowledge of caring for children, especially the knowledge of handling an emergency. So far, four of ours have been through the course and I'm looking for one scheduled for Carolyn to take.

You will reap the rewards for all your hard work, eventually. Now, my husband and I are able to travel out of state with no sitter needed.
*If you really want alone time, lock the door and block it with chairs.
Read about the other moms in All In A Day below...
Carrie at Our Full House

Elizabeth at Yes They're All Ours

Kristy at Homemaker's Cottage

Lori at Happy Busy Mama

Monica at Natural Mama

Renee at Bakers Dozen

Now, I'd love to know how you find time to be with your husband, post and link up with us.